Sexual violence, sometimes referred to as sexual abuse or harm, is any sexual activity that takes place without consent. Although words like “violence” or “assault” are often used, not all incidents involve physical force; sexual harm can happen in many different ways.
Sexual violence can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, sexuality, age, or background. Men, women, trans and non-binary people, and LGBT+ people can all be affected. It is never the fault of the person who experiences harm.
Examples of sexual violence/assault include:
- Any sexual touching or penetration without consent.
- Someone continuing sexual activity after being asked to stop.
- Being pressured, coerced, manipulated or threatened into sexual activity.
- Sexual activity with someone who is unable to consent (for example due to intoxication, being asleep, or having a learning disability that prevents informed consent).
- Sharing sexual images or videos without consent (“image-based abuse” or “revenge porn”).
- Sexual exploitation, grooming, or abuse within relationships of trust.
Consent
Consent means a person freely agrees to participate in sexual activity. It must be clear, informed, and ongoing. A person cannot consent if they are under pressure, afraid, asleep, unconscious, very intoxicated, or otherwise unable to make a free choice.
- Silence does not equal consent.
- Previous sexual activity does not mean consent to future activity.
- Being in a relationship does not mean automatic consent.
Common responses to sexual harm
If you have experienced sexual harm, you may have responded in different ways at the time. All responses are valid. These may include:
- Fight – trying to resist, push the person away fighting verbally e.g. saying 'no'.
- Flight – attempting to put distance between yourself and danger.
- Freeze – feeling unable to move or speak. This is one of the most common reactions to harm. This is not giving consent.
- Flop – body or mind shutting down or becoming unresponsive.
- Friend – trying to placate or befriend the person that is dangerous.
These are automatic survival responses, not choices. If you froze, complied, or were unable to fight back, it does not mean you consented. You can find more information around consent and responses to harm here.
Rape myths
There are many myths about sexual violence that can make it harder for people to recognise or talk about what has happened to them. Some examples include:
- “Men can’t be raped.” False. Men and boys can and do experience sexual violence.
- “LGBT+ people don’t experience sexual violence.” False. LGBT+ people are disproportionately targeted.
- “If someone didn’t fight back, it wasn’t really rape.” False. Many survivors experience freeze or other trauma responses that prevent resistance.
Sexual violence is always the responsibility of the person who causes harm, never the survivor.